Please Don't Leave Me
by Expression812
Summary: "Ever since we kissed, you've been a complete and total ass! Before, I'll admit, that you were only partially an ass, most of the time." Rated M for bad language and up coming smooching!  Among other things..:
1. Chapter 1

Please Don't Leave Me

**I got the song choice for this story from a video on YouTube, it was a fan video, with scenes from Suits and P!nk's Please Don't Leave Me playing, I don't remember who made it, but thanks for the inspiration! **

"Enough!" Mike yelled. "I've had enough! I don't know what's going on and I really don't care anymore. Ever since we kissed, you've been a complete and total ass! Before, I'll admit, that you were only partially an ass, most of the time. Now, I don't know if you're embarrassed or regret it or whatever, but you've crossed a line. Tearing me down in front of everyone and anyone out there? In front of a client? What the hell were you thinking?"

Harvey looked away. He knew that he had been overly harsh to Mike as of late and that reprimanding him in front of clients like an angry Nun at Catholic school was wrong, but God damn it! Mike was driving him crazy, every time the guy is within 3 feet of Harvey, he feels trapped, like Mike is _way_ too close for comfort, like at any moment, Mike can just reach through his rib cage and literally grab his heart and take off with it on that bike of his. Some might call it scared, not Harvey, he says that even Mike's presence is annoying, not only his voice. Harvey didn't really feel bad thinking about Mike like that, he did, however, regret saying that to his face. Harvey is 100% positive that he never wants to see that level of hurt on Mike's face ever again, not that he cared if it hurt Mike at all.

Harvey snapped from his thoughts when Mike threw his badge on his desk. "What the hell? I give you a hard time and you up and quit, again? Jesus, Mike grow a skin."

Mike laughed a bit, "You think I don't have skin? You think that I could have lasted a week around you without skin?" Mike paused and shook his head. "At first, I was learning from you, you weren't the best teacher I've ever had, or the nicest, but I was learning. Now, you're just a God damn bully picking on the smaller kids. Do you feel that bad about yourself? So bad that you have to make the people around you suffer because you are?"

Harvey stood from behind his desk, "You can't take a little tough love, Mike? You can't take criticism? If you wanted to learn to be a lawyer, you should have gone to law school; I have more important things to worry about than you."

Mike was really starting to get pissed. "Tough love my ass. You're using your power, your money and your reputation to be a bully to everyone below the great Harvey Spector. You know what? You're right, I should have went to law school, too bad I didn't get a full ride to Harvard from my boss! Too bad I have someone to look after besides myself! Too bad that when I look at my life, I remember more than just myself! But that's all you see, Harvey! That's it! Just you!" Mike walked toward the door and turned with his hand on the handle, "Your parents must be so proud."

Mike stood for a moment, letting his insult stew. "At least I have a mom and dad, at least, I'm not some orphan boy like you that has to funnel all my time, money and energy into keeping that old bag of bones you call a grandmother alive. And that's why you're so upset, Mike. You're jealous; mad that I got all the breaks, while poor little Mikey got all the shit. Wha. Get over it. Move on."

Mike turned back with shadows of tears in his eyes and looked at the man he looked up to; the man that Mike thought might finally like him for him, not his brain, and the man that maybe, just maybe, might even love him. That man wasn't in the room with him, he didn't know the Harvey he was speaking with, but all his many sides added up to one Harvey, right? And that one man had just destroyed Mike, obliterated him on the atomic level and the only thing he could think to reply with was, "I wouldn't trade my life for yours, Spector, not in a million years or even if it was a choice between living and dieing. I'd choose death."


	2. Chapter 2

Please Don't Leave Me Part 2

**A/N; Hey, it's me again! 8 reviews in one night? All time best feeling EVER! Thank you so much to; Bexella Darkari, XxokamikinxX, Nikki, Akriza Copperfield, Kunf'you'z-ed and to idon'tgiveaschmidt! I adore you guys and I can't thank you enough! As a reward, here is part two, fresh from Mircosoft Word! Enjoy! :D**

Harvey just stood there for a while after Mike stormed out. _When did I become such a bastard? Attacking his grandmother? When did I sink to that level? God, what is it about him that makes me act like this? I wasn't even thinking, I just went straight for the kill shot._ Harvey was broken from his thoughts by Donna standing in the doorway.

"Really?" questioned Donna, her arms folded and allowing her thick displeasure shine through her voice. "That's what the Great Harvey Spector is going to do when his little me get the best of him? Stand there like he took your toys along with your pride?"

Harvey ran a hand through his hair and looked from Donna and her disappointment. "What do you want from me, Donna?" he asked, exasperated.

"I want you to fix this." Demanded Donna, stepping forward and pointing her finger. "I want you to say you're sorry and to quit being such an ass! I've seen you happy, sad, disgruntled, upset and downright pissed, but this takes the cake for the biggest prick I've ever seen you be. Fix it, Harvey. Fix it now." Donna waited as Harvey continued to look at her, clueless. "I said now, Harvey, NOW!"

Harvey looked at his overly priced shoes and mumbled something Donna couldn't quite catch. "Speak up, Harvey." She commanded.

"I said, I don't know how."

Donna softened a bit and said, "You say you're sorry, you hand him his badge and tell him you'll try to do better."

Harvey looked up, "That's it?"

"No, then you tell him you care about him and get this shit figured out, it is not in my job description to sort out your love life."

Harvey nodded, "Can you pull up Mike's address for me, please?"

Mike sat on the edge of his grandmother's bed looking at her prone form. _She's getting worse, I can tell. Soon she won't remember me. Who will care if I'm eating then? Who'll ask me how my day was and tell me that I must remember to relax sometimes too? Who will help me remember my parents then? It used to be Trevor. I'll be on my own again. Oh God. _Mike held his head in his hands for a while, until the nurse came to tell him visiting hours were over. Mike left after he told his sleeping grandma that he loved her very, very much and that he'd see her tomorrow. He waited a fraction of a second, slinging to the hope that she'd wake and act like she did when Mike was a kid. Receiving no response, he left.

Outside the building, Mike paused, straddling his bike, but not taking off yet. _Where do you go from here, Mike? Shoulda thought this all out, huh? What are you going to do when the nursing home sends its bill? Monopoly money?_ Pushing his worries away, he rode toward his apartment, not without stopping for some well earned liquor.

About a minute after Mike walked into his apartment, the neck the bottle of whiskey had been all but glued to Mike's lips and nearly a minute later, he was feeling the effects, feeling that lovely numbing feeling take over once again. _Now I remember why I love this stuff so much._

A knock at the door sounded and Mike staggered to the door to answer it.

Harvey found Mike's apartment easy enough, wasn't the greatest buildings, but sometimes apartment complexes in New York tricked you, the outside looked like shit, but had wonderfully apartments, when Mike opened his door and Harvey got a peek inside, he confirmed that it hadn't tricked him, it was a dump at best. Besides that, Harvey could tell at a short glance that Mike worked hard to keep it clean and presentable. Moving his attention from the apartment to its owner, Harvey noticed the pungent odor of alcohol and the almost gone bottle of whiskey in Mike's hand.

"Drinking so late?" Harvey questioned, pushing past his employee.

"Sure, you asswipe, come right on in, make yourself comfortable." Mike slurred sarcastically, making a sweeping hand gesture as he did. "About earlier, I'm so sorry about that, I just realized that I'd come quite attached to my soul and wasn't ready to make a deal with you for it yet."

Harvey raised an eyebrow, if that kind of venom wasn't aimed at him, he would have appreciated it, but now, it just made him feel worse. "Look Mike, we need to talk."

"Damn straight we do, hold on though, let me go get my spare set of big girl panties for you to borrow, wouldn't want you to be unprepared." Mike stumbled away from Harvey while laughing at his own joke and stepped into his kitchen where he downed more of the whiskey. "God, I forgot how much I loved this stuff." Mike looked from the bottle to Harvey, who had followed the drunken man. "What do you want, Harvey?"

"I wanted to say I was sorry."

"Bullshit!" exclaimed Mike. "I doubt you've ever said sorry in your life and really meant it. Try again."

Harvey looked at his associate, hair all over the place, wearing a pair of ripped up jeans and a maroon tee shirt. "I really am sorry, Mike."

Mike looked at his boss, former boss, he should say and almost detected a hint of sincerity deeply hidden in his face, then Mike looked away. "Why are you here?"

"To say what I've just said and to give you this back." Harvey pulled Mike's badge out of his pocket.

Mike looked at it for a long time, before turning away. "Did you know my dad was a lawyer?" Mike asked. Harvey shook his head. "He wasn't as famous or successful as you, but I remember he helped people, even those that couldn't pay him, he loved it when the underdog won and he did everything in his power to make sure that they did. At least, that's what my grandma told me." Harvey nodded and Mike went quiet for a time.

"She's dying, you know." Mike said, taking a long drink off his bottle. "My grandmother," he clarified when he caught Harvey's confused gaze. "The only parent that I actually remember and she's gunna die too."

"I'm so sorry, Mike." Mike looked up at Harvey, "Yeah, you already said that."

Mike pushed away from the counter and wandered into his living room drinking the entire way, his lips making a small popping sound as they came off the bottle. Mike sat down, put his feet on his coffee table and sighed, then addressed Harvey once more. "What are you trying to accomplish here, Harvey?"

Harvey sat across from Mike and propped his feet up as well. "I'm here to sort this all out, personal feelings and all.


	3. Chapter 3

Please Don't Leave Me Part 3

Mike looked at Harvey across the small gap in between his couch and his love seat. Through his sluggish eyes, he could almost see Harvey squirm, just a little. Later Mike will deny that it was his bosses' discomfort that led Mike to hear him out, that it was the undying need to cut Harvey off at the knees in his case and watch him bleed out on the floor. Mike shook the dark thoughts of Harvey with a pool of blood below him away.

"Personal feelings? Aren't those a little _personal_ for you?" questioned Mike, smirking when Harvey rolled his eyes and looked away.

"Yes, Mike. I preach about leaving personal feelings out of everything yet those are what I came here to dreg up. I get it. Irony. Funny." He finished sarcastically.

Mike laughed took another swig from the whiskey. "What about personal feelings do you want to talk about, Mr. Spector?" Mike leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees.

Harvey cocked an eyebrow but dropped it. _If I was thinking clearly I would swear that Mike Ross is flirting with me. _Harvey took in his associate for a moment, the flushed cheeks, glossy eyes and a barely there slur of his words. _Maybe he's just a slutty drunk._ The dirty part of Harvey's brain then chimed in, _God, I hope that's it!_

Clearing his throat and his brain, he began.

"I'm sorry I've been such an ass, but in all reality it is your fault."

Mike stared at Harvey for a second before rising to his feet, but not lifting his head. When he finally looked at Harvey, there was a deep seated anger there, making Mike's eyes flare every so often.

"It's all my fault isn't it, Harvey?" his slur disappeared and his voice deepened in anger. "Everything is my fucking fault! No blame for the great and powerful Harvey! God no! Because his shit doesn't stink! He's all that, a bag of ships and a Coke!" Mike turned from Harvey for a second, his hand over his mouth, tears forming in his eyes, then turned to face Harvey once again. "I kinda like you, Harvey. Kinda as in a lot, but I can't be alone anymore and lately, you're there but you're not. You can be standing right next to me, speaking to me even and on some level, the level that is key for relationships to work, I'm alone. Like you don't have the same levels I do." Mike paused and watched Harvey as he sat there, hands limp where they lay, one on the back of Mike's couch the other in Harvey's lap, mouthing opened just a bit. Mike looked away and started to pace. "Not that office romances ever work. Not that you would want a relationship with me anyway. That's why I left. You're just another dead end in my life and I need to head it off at the pass. Plus, with Grammy getting worse," Mike sat again and looked at Harvey, tears running down his face. "Sometimes, she doesn't remember me." Mike looked away. "Who will care then, Harvey? My parents died long ago, my only living relative won't know who I am and the guy I love won't return my feelings." Mike paused. "I might as well go back to smoking pot. I mean smoke 'em if you got 'em, right?" Mike cracked a wicked grin and looked down at the now empty whiskey bottle before he smashed it on the watched Mike's face contort from a smile to a look of pure anger, some eve not directed at him, Mike was mad at the world and he have every right to be, first taking his parents, then his grandmother being sick, but the kicker, was Mike had a boss like him, a friend, the only one Mike had, like Harvey. Harvey had to leap off the couch as Mike tipped it over, he shoved all the stuff off of all his shelves, knocked his bookcase to the ground, kicked his TV over, threw his mattress off its box spring and then proceeded to break everything breakable in his apartment.

Harvey stood watching Mike destroy his home. It was a solid hour before he stopped and by then, Mike was sobbing, the kind of sobbing where you can't breathe, you can't hear and you can't talk, all you can do is cry. Mike sat on one of the cushions from his couch that was half way across the floor and wiped at his face, before covering it with both hands. Harvey looked around Mike's apartment before he went over to Mike.

"Mike," he said quietly, placing his hand on his associate's shoulder. Mike hiccupped in reply. "You can't stay here tonight."

Mike looked up and sniffed, looking at anything but Harvey. "Where should I go?" he asked. Mike was tired, tired of holding it together, that's all he ever did, if Trevor was having a hard time, he held Trevor together too, he did that with everyone and they let him, just like they let him take their tests for them, but when Mike needed someone to help him stay in one piece, everyone seemed to disappear, even Trevor. Mike used to think that Trevor could sense when things with Mike were going downhill and would get out when he had the chance, sometimes Mike wished he could do the same, but he would go crazy with guilt, so Mike held things together, held things inside, stood stiff as a board and rooted deeper than a tree, even when the hurricanes came, but now, it was his turn to have someone take on his problems too, to share the load and for once in his life, break down and then build himself back up.

Harvey looked at Mike, his eyes glazed and lost, looking like the confused and scared little boy that he got to be right now, he couldn't ship him off to some hotel room right now, couldn't let him be alone, too many things could happen. "You can stay with me for the night, okay?"

Mike shook his head and began to rock himself. "I'm scared." He murmured. "I don't know what's going on," he looked at Harvey, tears still running down his face, "why can't breathe right? Why can't I think?"

Harvey was confused; everyone has their little episodes, right? This can't be the first time, can it? "This hasn't happened before?" he asked.

Mike weakly shook his head, "Never."

Harvey rubbed a hand across his face before answering, "It happens to everyone, things become too much and you just fall apart for a while, some cry, some drink, some break things, others do all three and more. Then, when you can't cry anymore, when you sober up, when you don't have the energy to be mad anymore, you pick up the pieces and move on until it becomes too much again."

Mike nodded slightly, "Does it happen to you?"

Harvey swallowed, but nodded, "Yeah."

Mike was still rocking and crying. "Oh God I can't stop! I'm crying like some little girl throwing a temper tantrum but I can't stop, Harvey! I don't have what it takes, I can't do this! I can't hold this many pieces anymore! Their crumbling and they won't go back together!" Mike was breathing hard by then, rocking faster with more tears falling down his face. "Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop…" he huffed out over and over again, but soon was hyperventilating.

Harvey grabbed his associate's face, "Breathe, Mike, you need to breathe, okay? Breathe for me, slowly, okay? Slow it down."

Mike swallowed hastily and tried to slow his heart and lungs. His breathing eventually returned to normal, only occasionally interrupted by a hiccup or a quiet sob. Harvey had ended up hugging Mike as hard as he could; he had read somewhere that a strong pressure across your abdomen helped to calm people down. As Mike returned to a semi-normal state, he had sagged against Harvey, letting him support his weight. Deciding it was time to get Mike to bed, he slowly stood bringing Mike with him and whispering encouragements the whole way up. Once standing, put one of Mike's arms across his shoulders and out his arm around Mike's waist. "We're going to my house, okay?" Harvey asked while he led Mike to the door. Mike just sagged next to him, not acknowledging that he had heard him. Harvey took that as consent and grabbed Mike's keys off his counter and lock the apartment door behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

Please Don't Leave Me 4

**Hello again! I'm so sorry this took so long! Thank you so very, very much to anyone and everyone that left a review, you guys rock! Thanks again and here's part four!**

The ride to Harvey's apartment was silent, Mike didn't look like he had the energy to open his mouth let alone speak and Harvey had no clear idea what the hell he was doing. _Inviting him over really? Good God, he's a quitter! A small boy that tried to run with the big boys! _ Another voice in his head chimed in; _You were once a small boy chasing the big boy's coattails once too, you just had a solid support system that pushed you to hang in there, not people that dragged you down kicking and screaming. You were supposed to be his support; you made him get rid of Trevor and you were supposed to step in, but that never happened, did it? _Harvey scoffed at himself,_ I got busy, I could hardly handle myself at times. _The voice sighed, _And how do you think he faired if even you were having trouble?_ Harvey promptly decided to stop thinking, _It's just because you know I'm right, _teased the voice.

"Shut up." Harvey muttered.

When they arrived at Harvey's condo, Harvey killed the engine and looked over at his associate. Mike was staring out the window of Harvey's Lexus, his head against the glass and his silent breath fogging up the glass. Harvey gentle touched Mike's arm as not to scare him, "Hey, buddy, we're here. You ready to go up?"

Mike slowly rolled his eyes to look at Harvey; they were glossy and tired, so very, very tired. Mike gave a slight nod of head and Harvey climbed from the car and walked around to the trunk waiting for Mike to come around too. Mike seemed to be stuck in slow motion as he laboriously climbed from the vehicle. He paused for a moment, screwing his eyes shut and swallowing. When he opened his eyes, he found Harvey looking at him, concern on his face. "'m fine," he mumbled as he tipped to the left slightly, making Harvey lunge to his aid.

"Yeah, you're fine." Harvey replied, sarcasm coloring his voice.

Mike tried to take some of his own weight back from Harvey, but Harvey just slung his associate's arm over his shoulder and dragged him as gently as he could into the apartment building. Harvey leaned Mike against the frame of his door as he proceeded to unlock it. He grabbed Mike again and shuffled inside and over to the couch, where he sat Mike down. Harvey jogged back to his door and closed it before kicking off his shoes and going back to Mike, where he removed Mike's shoes too and chucked them at the closet he kept his shoes in.

"Okay," Harvey huffed as he stood Mike up again, concerned of how Mike just turned in his hands and followed his lead.

Harvey led Mike to his bedroom and sat him back down on his bed so he could go look for something for Mike to sleep in. Quickly going through his wardrobe, he returned to Mike's side with a pair of black and white pajama pants. Harvey paused in front of Mike, wondering how he was gunna do this.

"Mike," he said, hoping for a reaction, Mike's eyes flickered to him before returning to stare straight ahead of him. _That's good, right?_ Wondered Harvey before saying, "I have to change your clothes, you can't sleep in your suit, okay?"

Mike gave a tiny nod and Harvey stood him up once again. Awkwardly, Harvey loosened Mike's tie and took it from his neck and then went to work on the buttons of his shirt, untucking it and pulling it from his body, followed by his under shirt. He tried to be as professional as he could, averting his eyes as best he could and being as efficient as he could be. He undid the buckle of Mike's belt and undoing his pants before shimming them down to Mike's ankles where Harvey took off his charge's socks and pants, then slipped Mike's feet into the pajama pants, pulling them up as he stood from his crouch. Harvey blew out a breath, happy that was over. He sat next to Mike on his bed.

"I know I've said it a few times already, but I am so truly sorry. I'm so very, very sorry. I'm sorry that it was too much, I'm sorry I'm a jerk, and I'm sorry you have to go through this with someone like me, someone that can't comfort anyone out of a paper bag." Harvey looked at his socks, taking in their expensive stitching and then switching his attention to Mike's bare boney feet.

"It's okay," replied a small voice, a shadow of Mike's usual one. Harvey looked up, but Mike still stared straight ahead. "I don't think I could comfort me either right now."

Harvey nodded and looked about, hoping Mike would continue. Harvey wasn't the 'talk-my-feelings-out' kind of guy when he got like this, he would rather stew in them for a while, but it made sense that Mike would be and Harvey was there, willing to do anything to get back the normal Mike, _his _Mike.

Mike slowly drew his arms around himself. "It feels like I'm flying in all different directions, like things are crumbling, turning to dust." Mike paused and swallowed. "I don't see how tomorrow I'll wake up and everything will be put all back together."

Harvey licked his lips before replying, "That's because it doesn't magically get fixed, you have to pick up the pieces."

Mike looked at him, "I had all I could to just holding them together and somehow I'm supposed to put them back together, I can't."

Harvey cleared his throat, uncomfortable with what he was about to say, "You can and you will because you've beat so many odds in just getting to where you are now, that there's no way this will stop you. Nothing can stop you, so don't let a speed bump take away your momentum." Harvey got up, squeezing Mike's shoulder and left the room, wondering how he'd let his father's advice slip out.


End file.
